At one point of my life, fear, pain, and most of all, anger grew inside me. Hitches conquered me and these made me so weak that I could not bear to stand again. At another point, I felt so lost that I thought that I would never find my way back from the dark. I was so used of having a helping hand whenever I needed it. Now, my light shines no more, and I am all alone in this cold and cruel universe. I must learn to stand on my own.

Every time I find myself lost in deep reverie, every time I find myself imagining what might have had happened if things had gone differently, my heart always takes me back to that one point in my life four years ago—the day when my guiding star vanished and left me forever.

It was just a normal day. I woke up to a golden morning, and I quickly prepared myself to conquer another day. I had no inkling of the tragedy that would befall my family and that would change my life forever.

And so the hands of time passed by. I received an inevitable call, a call that pierced my soul like a sharp icicle, a call that brought me so much pain beyond anything that I have ever felt, a call that informed me of the most unusual event in my life. Sadness took me somewhere else at the very moment that I was able to process the whole truth. And there sat I crying, listening, and wondering, I became completely unaware of what was happening around me. The only thing that reached my mind was the thought that the very person whom I owed my life and my everything, the very person who has guided me through it all, was then lying in a very deep slumber—a deep slumber that she will never wake up from again.

There was nothing left for me to do but to accept the painful truth. And even though I was fully aware of the reality that such thing happens everyday, I still could not find within my heart the strength to get pass through it. I could not force myself to cross the bar and leave it behind forever. But inside me, deep within my shattered heart, there was a voice telling me to be strong more than enough because I have to take good care of a very precious life besides my own.

Moments passed and I saw the peaceful sight of an angelic face under a glass surface. I was so afraid to embrace it at first, but I had no other choice because it was my last chance. As I looked down on a very familiar face, my heart sank, and I felt the fear and the pain coming back again. Yet, there she was, so little and so innocent, lying silently asleep a few meters from me. She so much looked like my mother, and I believe that someday she would grow up beautifully just like her. I cried at the very moment that I looked at her. I knew that the miracle of a new life was dawning right before my very eyes. How come that I failed to be grateful after waiting for all those months?

I realized by that time that I should stop mourning and be glad and be strong for my little sister. Thinking of that responsibility made me feel alone more than ever, but her innocent look and her innocent smile always told me that I was not. She gives me strength whenever I feel weak. She gives me hope whenever I feel like giving up. Though I am the light that would be guiding her path, she was the one that keeps my fire burning bright.

This was the experience that totally changed my life. Yes, I did experience a great loss, but in turn, I also gained a precious gift. I know that life is not always fair, but I have to accept that life is only borrowed. I may be missing my mother so much, but I know that she is happy wherever she is right now. I realize that things happen because they are bound to happen whether we like them or not.

Now, I feel alone no more. I know how hard life is, but I am not totally alone for I have my little sister to empower me. Of course, I will never forget the memory of the guiding star that once shone upon me to light my path. But, her memory is not a bitter one. Instead, I see it as an inspiration to be stronger.